Main
Journey to the Stars
(or the Idiotic Love Story of Tegoshi and his Boyband) 6/12 by Tha Wrecka
See part 0 for details.
6.
Yamapi puts food in his mouth and enjoys it. He enjoys the taste, the texture, the feeling of chewing. Enjoys the feeling of wanting to eat, of having that deep, earthy hunger in the pit of his stomach and back of his throat and not the deep, filling feeling of fear and stress instead.
He wanted everyone to know this feeling, this joy. He wanted the whole group to share in his love of food and so he shared his food to show his love for them.
Shige could count Tegoshi's ribs when he took his shirt off. None of them were fat, of course, and Tegoshi was always going to be tiny but it didn't mean he had to like how delicate Tegoshi let himself look. It worried him a little. He wondered if Koyama was worrying about it, too.
Ryo-chan was in the bathroom and Yamapi was kind of bored, so he decided to interrupt Shige and Koyama's conversation.
"Hello!" he said loudly, and flopped himself on the floor in front of them. "What are you talking about?"
"Shige was worrying about Tegoshi," Koyama said.
"Why?"
"Tegoshi's been looking a little thin lately," Koyama confided in a quiet, motherly voice. "You saw what he was like at rehearsal. I don't think he's been eating enough."
Yamapi nodded and decided to do something about it.
It seemed like they'd been whispering all morning. Tegoshi wondered if Kei-chan had a secret and, if so, why he hadn't been told what it was yet. It was no fair getting excluded from the juicy stuff.
He scowled at them when they looked over and noticed him but it didn't make them any more forthcoming.
Towards the end of the day Yamapi approached him, looking really purposeful and determined. (It was really hot.)
"What are you doing for dinner?" Yamapi asked.
"Um, just going home to eat with my parents, I guess," Tegoshi replied.
"Ryo-chan and I will be going somewhere to eat," Yamapi said.
Tegoshi wasn't sure why this information was important but he nodded and made noises of agreement, anyway.
"You need to eat so you might as well do it with us," Yamapi declared.
Tegoshi was a little in awe of how forthright and decisive Yamapi was being.
"Come on!" Yamapi said, then grabbed Tegoshi by the lower arm and practically dragged him out the door.
...Tegoshi was also a little in awe of how hands on Yamapi was being.
Nishikido-kun borrowed his mobile phone to call his parents and inform them that Tegoshi wouldn't be home for dinner. He sounded really charming on the phone! Tegoshi wasn't surprised that his parents readily agreed.
He smiled at Tegoshi as he handed the phone back and that made Tegoshi want to smile more, too.
Ryo sometimes tried to play it off like he didn't care for them much or at all but Tegoshi just knew he was just trying to be cool. It was okay. All he cared about was that Ryo could be cool around him sometimes.
Tegoshi really admired Ryo. He was so hardworking and dedicated and he never tried to show off how tired he was or how much work he'd been doing. Tegoshi really liked that about Ryo and wished he could be half as cool and inspiring. (He'd tried, so many times, to subtly watch Ryo so that when he hid in his room at home he could practise being cool like that. It never quite worked. Things that looked so awesome and grown up when Ryo did them looked stupid or weird on him. Things that looked ultra cool on Ryo just didn't suit the way Tegoshi was shaped. It wasn't fair to catch himself in the mirror trying to act like Ryo and only see all the ways he didn't match.)
Nishikido-kun even ordered his food in a really cool way that Tegoshi couldn't hope to match.
Most of the time Tegoshi ate in a polite and dainty sort of way. He didn't talk much during meals and was mostly content to nod at people when they spoke to him and occasionally put his plate up for more food. Yamapi suspected it was the only time Tegoshi could be quiet, the only time he could shut off the constant stream of song that escaped from his mouth.
Yamapi didn't really like it. He didn't want Tegoshi to be quiet. It seemed wrong. Tegoshi seemed most himself when he was loud and happy.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
Tegoshi nodded and placed another chunk of food in his mouth.
"Is it good?" Yamapi asked.
Tegoshi covered his mouth and replied in the affirmative, his voice slightly muffled by food.
"Try the fish," Yamapi advised.
Tegoshi picked it up with his chopsticks and placed it in his open mouth. Chewed.
"What do you think?"
"It's delicious," Tegoshi said in a slightly bashful voice.
A little bit of rice escaped Tegoshi's mouth. Yamapi found it strangely compelling. He wanted to follow its path with his tongue.
"Yay," he said and shovelled more into his mouth.
Ryo had to leave early to play with his other friends so he tried to eat as fast as he could to fit it all in. He didn't break his previous record for speed eating but he did pretty well. Yamapi even clapped.
Nishikido-kun bought himself seconds but then he couldn't finish it all in time so Yamapi had to finish his food off for him.
"Yay!" Yamapi said as he grabbed the plate and started to eat. It made Tegoshi start laughing, even though he couldn't figure out why he found it funny.
Tegoshi still laughed with his whole body. It was kind of cute the way he still did that, still laughed even with his elbows, still jerked his mouth open wide like the laughter needed a bigger opening from which to escape his body.
There was something really charming about Tegoshi. Something he wasn't even aware of, somehow, though he clearly didn't have poor self-esteem. It was the uncool parts of Tegoshi that really made him likable, the silly, inept, dorky parts, like the wriggly way he would dance when he didn't have choreography.
Yamapi winked and tried to shove as much into his mouth at once as he could, wanted to see if he could keep Tegoshi laughing at him.
Yamapi kept telling silly jokes and looking at Tegoshi between mouthfuls. He seemed more attentive than he usually was when they were alone.
If he didn't know better, Tegoshi would suspect that Yamapi was actually flirting with him. His smile seemed so intimate but Tegoshi knew he had to be projecting. There was no way it could actually be happening.
It made him a little giddy at the thought that Pi was looking at him.
There was just something about the way Yamapi was looking at him tonight. What was he thinking when he looked over at Tegoshi with that look in his eye?
Tegoshi wondered what would happen if he tried to flirt with Yamapi. Would Yamapi like it? Would he laugh? Would he even notice?
It seemed like half the group had been strangely obsessed with feeding him that week. Tegoshi didn't really get it but he didn't mind, either.
On lunch break, after Tegoshi finished his own lunch, Koyama gave him some steamed vegetables, slathered in sauce. It was really yummy, even if Shige scowled about Koyama giving his food to anyone else.
After that Yamapi invited him onto his lap but it seemed the price of getting to sit on his lap was that Yamapi was forcing food into his mouth. Tegoshi tried to bat him away.
"Ah, don't, it's disgusting and I'm not Shige."
"Just one more," Yamapi said in a disgustingly cheerful voice.
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"No!" he said and gave a megawatt grin.
"Fine," Tegoshi acquiesced, resigned to his fate.
He opened his mouth, letting Yamapi slide his fingers in, the gooey food flopping into his mouth. He sucked the excess food that wanted to stick to Yamapi's fingers until Yamapi made a weird nose and pulled his fingers back.
"There," Tegoshi said. "Done."
Shige was having a deep conversation with Koyama about whether guys with swords was cooler than giant robots with swords when Yamapi came up, looking slightly weird.
"I think we can stop feeding Tegoshi now," Yamapi said in a strange voice and then walked away.
Shige looked at Koyama, confused, only to see that Koyama was wearing an expression that looked almost as confused. Shige didn't know what that was about but he had a feeling it was Koyama's fault.
They were scattered around the room. Tegoshi was making a silly speech; Ryo was only half paying attention. Shige was asleep.
Tegoshi finished his statement by tilting his head to the side in the way he liked to do; a mannerism that said, look at me, pay attention to how cute I'm being, and did it fairly effectively. Yamapi felt in the mood to indulge him.
He sat down next to Tegoshi, bumping him with his elbows on the way down, and smiled. "Hello."
"Hello," Tegoshi said back.
"Are you free later?" he asked.
Tegoshi blinked. "Sure!"
"Catch a movie with me."
"Okay!"
"I saw an ad for a really cool foreign film from France or something."
"You watch French films?"
"...Sure."
"Why don't we just hang out instead?" Tegoshi suggested. "I'm not awake enough for a movie I have to pay attention to."
"Yes!" Yamapi was very relieved.
Yamapi hadn't stopped finding Tegoshi attractive, which was confusing him, but he wasn't seeing any problem there. He certainly didn't think Tegoshi would object.
Instead of going to see a movie they just walked around in the cool night, enjoying each other's company and being quite silly. They were tired but happy enough to hang about together and there was comfort in the lulls in their conversation.
As it got later Yamapi walked Tegoshi home. The lights were all out and it seemed very quiet - Yamapi had imagined Tegoshi's home as being loud and bright, always full of people.
"Where's your family?" Yamapi asked.
"They're out to dinner, I think. You can come in. It's not too messy."
Yamapi followed Tegoshi inside. Tegoshi dumped his stuff in the hallway and stood awkwardly, looked around as if to figure out what to do. He'd seemed fairly comfortable and relaxed until that point but it seemed like nervousness was setting in.
"Do you want a glass of water?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Don't be so nervous."
Yamapi put his hand on the side of Tegoshi's face. Every thought Tegoshi had ground to a halt. He couldn't believe this was really happening.
"I've been thinking about kissing you all night," Yamapi said.
"Oh," Tegoshi uttered. He couldn't really get his brain to work properly long enough to say more than that.
"So I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay," Yamapi said, searching Tegoshi's face.
Tegoshi nodded, wide-eyed. Of course it was okay! It was better than okay. It was nothing less than the very stuff his more embarrassing dreams were made of.
Yamapi leaned in, then, and kissed him.
The touch of his mouth was hot and soft. Tegoshi wanted to keep his eyes open so he could really see that this was happening but they slid shut of their own volition. His head tilted to better accommodate the kiss almost automatically and his hands came up to grasp Yamapi's solid shoulders.
Yamapi brought his hands up and Tegoshi curled into him further. His mouth fell open, letting Yamapi inside and they made contact in yet another place.
Tegoshi was happy, so happy, that Yamapi was kissing him with that generous mouth, that Pi's large, warm hands were reaching around his body and holding him close.
Yamapi's hands were solid on his back, anchoring him. It was so warm to be embraced like this and strangely comfortable, as if his body was saying he could be made for this, too, that he could fit into this well. Kissing without end in sight, so hot and moist in the minimal space between them, it felt a little suffocating, like there wasn't enough air in the room for this. Tegoshi felt a little light-headed, a little lost, but he didn't mind at all, was happy to ignore his body's need to breathe if it meant he could continue to do this. His body felt strange, weighted all wrong, like his limbs and torso had changed shape and become something else.
Yamapi moved his slick mouth away from the kiss and Tegoshi whimpered.
Yamapi leaned his forehead against Tegoshi's. He was breathing hard and fast into the space between them, just as much as Tegoshi was. His hands remained a comfortable presence against Tegoshi's back.
Tegoshi felt a little dizzy and idly wondered if his fingers entangled into Yamapi's hair were all that were keeping him upright.