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Journey to the Stars
(or the Idiotic Love Story of Tegoshi and his Boyband) 12/12 by Tha Wrecka
See part 0 for details.
12.
His mother had been saying that it seemed, lately, like all he did was work and go shopping. Tegoshi wondered if this meant he should go shopping less often but immediately dismissed the thought. That would mean spending less time with Massu, Shige and Kei-chan and that would be terrible! Sure, there were other things he could do with them in their off time but he liked shopping the best. If he didn't start off every excursion with Massu with shopping it would all go wrong and be horribly out of order!
Of course, some of that time his mother thought he'd been spending exercising his wallet was actually spent with Yamapi but that wasn't something he felt she really needed to know.
It was the end of a long, fun night. Tegoshi and Masuda had, as usual, gone shopping first, during which Tegoshi had bought another really nice sleeveless top he knew he didn't really need, then bowling and were now in the middle of karaoke. Tegoshi was enjoying himself a lot but there was something that was niggling him at the back of his mind. He couldn't quite figure out what it was but it had been bugging him for a while. He just wanted it to go away so he could focus on playing with Massu and having fun.
He was mostly succeeding in ignoring it but every now and then it would really nag at him, causing him to get a little frowny in the middle of a cheery song. Every time it distracted him Masuda would look at him with concern and Tegoshi would smile so that his friend wouldn't worry.
Finally, in the middle of the second time they were singing 'Anniversary' he started to figure it out and stopped singing abruptly.
"Tegoshi...?" Masuda questioned, shocked. He put his hand on Tegoshi's shoulder to get his attention.
"Massu, I need your help with something," Tegoshi said. "I'm all confused."
"What is it?" Masuda asked, sympathetically.
"I've been sleeping with Yamashita-kun," Tegoshi started.
"Ah," Masuda said. "Well, I did suspect that a little."
"It's... It's not..." Tegoshi trailed off, unsure how to continue. It wasn't common for him to not know how to express himself and it discomfited him greatly.
"Did he hurt you at all?" Masuda asked, tentatively.
"What? No! No, he would never."
"Then, what's wrong?" Masuda asked, looking confused.
"Hmm." Tegoshi looked at his hands folded on his lap. "It's just not how I thought it would be."
"Were you expecting something more romantic?"
"I guess so, Massu," Tegoshi said. "But I don't think I want a romance. Is that weird? I mean, shouldn't I be wanting this to be a big love story and stuff?"
"Tegoshi," Masuda said, gently, and placed his arms around Tegoshi's neck. Tegoshi burrowed into him, hair spilling all over Masuda's shoulder.
"I mean, I worship Yamashita-kun. It doesn't make sense that I'm not in love with him. It's not like I'm not into him. He's really hot. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you," Masuda said, ruffling his fingers through Tegoshi's hair. "It just means you're just not meant to be in love with him."
"Okay," Tegoshi said in a quiet voice, somewhat muffled by Masuda's pullover.
"You're having fun together. That's allowed. You are having fun, right?"
"Yes."
"Good," Masuda said and moved Tegoshi so he could hug him properly.
This is something that will never change. It feels as if he has been friends with Massu from the moment he saw the other boy, like some sort of magic, friendship at first sight, and their bond remains as strong as ever. Tegoshi has a feeling that no matter what Massu will always be there for him, warm arms and open smile, always willing to listen even when he doesn't understand and has absolutely no idea what to say.
It makes him really happy to know that Massu has his back.
Massu swept his hands through Tegoshi's hair and whispered into his ear, "Maybe you'd feel better if we went somewhere you could dance."
Tegoshi loved going dancing with Masuda on their off hours. When they danced for work it was fun and all, and Masuda was a great dancer, but when they did it for themselves they could be silly and just jump about until they got too tired to stand.
Massu, of course, was very silly and it took absolutely forever for his stamina to run out so this meant they could be silly together all night.
Massu wasn't trying to be sexy. Massu just was sexy, at the most unexpected times, and Tegoshi thought that anyone who didn't realise that was an idiot.
Massu had really cheered Tegoshi up a lot. Another thing that made him feel better was bugging Shige so Tegoshi decided to constantly call Shige and ask annoying questions about the Law.
Coming to the end of the tour brought a jubilant mood, like there was something silly on the wind smoothing out their foreheads and making them sound like lunatics. Everyone was at least a little bit contemplative, especially Shige, so in between the parade of silly voices and spastic movements there were quiet talks about what the future would hold after the last concert ended.
"I think we'll all care for each other just as much if we don't see each other for six months. Or six years!" Tegoshi said. "I feel like we can spend lots of time apart but when we all see each other again we'll still slot neatly together and still be comfortable with each other. We'll all have our places where we fit, you know?"
Yamapi chewed thoughtfully.
"If I didn't see you for a long time I think I would feel just the same about you as I do now, as long as I could see you on TV," Tegoshi continued.
"Really?"
"Yamashita-kun is always going to be an inspiration to me, of course, and ...a friend?" Tegoshi ventured.
"Ah, I'm very lucky to have such a cute friend," Yamapi said, happily.
Tegoshi couldn't help himself. He escaped into a quiet room and called Shige, deciding to ask another annoying question about something he saw on a crime show. He called and only got halfway into his babbling before Shige sternly cut him off.
"If you keep making these stupid calls I'm going to actually sit you down and make you listen to everything I know about civil procedure. Do you really want that?" Shige threatened, coming into the room where Tegoshi was hiding.
"But if I don't make these calls how will I ever get Shige to talk to me? When the tour ends you might never speak to me again!" Tegoshi said dramatically.
"I will call you, idiot. You just have to pick up your phone," Shige said.
"But it's just so much funnier to do things this way!"
"You're annoying."
"You say that but you love me," Tegoshi said, smiling like an idiot.
Shige, however, had to admit he was correct.
It was the last day of the tour. Everyone was smiling and hugging and getting all teary-eyed.
Yamapi felt a little choked up about it, a little contemplative of how he felt for these people.
He didn't always know what to do with them or what they wanted of him but he knew enough, by now, to know when Tegoshi wanted to take someone's clothes off and when Koyama just needed a hug.
Not that both of these things happened at once, of course! It would be interesting if they did.
Backstage, everybody looked a lot lighter than they had for a while. Pi could see Masuda performing impressively silly exercises, Ryo bothering Shige and Tegoshi sitting on Koyama's lap, happy as a clam. They were relaxed and wonderful.
They clasped each other's hands as they passed and Tegoshi could feel the magic in their fingertips. It was a magic they could share with the audience and Tegoshi wanted to, was so glad he could show off the NEWS he had grown to love.
The happiness they'd had while performing followed them into their dreams, waking them refreshed and friendly the next morning.
"I think all the people you choose to be with in the future will be very lucky," Yamapi said, earnest look on his face.
"Thank you, Yamashita-san," Tegoshi replied.
He wanted to blush and duck his head but instead he made himself stand up straight and look Yamapi in the eye, show him that he valued and acknowledged everything he was saying and everything he'd done for Tegoshi. Tegoshi smiled, truly happy in that moment. He grabbed both of Yamapi's hands and squeezed them.
"I think the same of you," Tegoshi said and let Yamapi's hands go.
"They better all realise how lucky they are! You're not allowed to date anyone who isn't worthy of you," Yamapi said.
"Don't worry! If they're not good enough for me then Massu will threaten to beat them up," Tegoshi teased.
"Good!"
"You've changed so much," Nishikido-kun said as Tegoshi brushed out his hair. "You were like a completely different person when we first met."
"I'm going to keep changing."
"Don't change too much. I think you're fine as you are."
Tegoshi blushed.
Tegoshi was sad that he wouldn't be around all of NEWS all the time for a while, this much was true. At the same time, he was really excited to be able to work with just Massu, who was always comfortable and who knew how to balance him so well.
It wasn't like he wouldn't be seeing everyone else, anyway, whether it be in person or on TV and in magazines. He'd still hear them on the radio and get irate messages from Shige on his phone.
They weren't even going to be apart for that long.
While he was away from them he'd be able to keep within him the memories they all made together. He would still be the Tegoshi who grew under their guidance. Their mark on him could never truly be removed from him.
He would remember them in every note he sang and keep them locked in his heart until he next saw them.
Sometimes, in their early days, he'd try to make himself as small and inconspicuous as he could. He didn't feel like he fit in and didn't want to be noticed so he'd sit on his own and listen to music or do his homework. Sometimes Morimori would talk to him because he was as small, young and scared as Tegoshi but he was also as shy, and then, after not very long, he was gone.
Tegoshi was just so afraid to try to reach out. Everyone was so much bigger than he was or older than he was and had so much more experience. It excited him that the senpai he admired was in the group with him but intimidated him just as much and there was something daunting about Nishikido-kun, even (or perhaps especially) when he was being kind of nice.
It was so fake and terrifying, not at all like he had imagined, and there were days when he was tempted to throw in the towel.
He could only be glad now that he didn't. The thought that he could have given up and missed out on all this was terribly sad.
He loved this group of people. He wasn't afraid to admit it.
It always made Shige embarrassed when he said it but he meant it and Shige's embarrassment wasn't going to stop him from saying it. In fact, the more it embarrassed Shige the more he wanted to say it. Shige was amusing when embarrassed, after all.
Koyama had his arm over Shige's shoulders and was saying various things in silly voices. Tegoshi liked them best that way. As much as he cared about them both as separate people, he held his greatest love for them when they were together, liked them most when he could be a third wheel.
Tegoshi ran to catch up with them. He grabbed Shige's free arm and slung it over his shoulders, leaned into him. Koyama exclaimed his name and Shige just looked at him with that sceptical smile he was fond of using. Tegoshi knew he was interrupting their conversation but he didn't care.
He would always be a little bit in awe of Yamashita-kun. Nothing he could think of would change that and he didn't want it to change. Tegoshi liked being able to look up to someone so cool and hard working. He liked being able to admire someone so good-looking.
He knew that it sometimes made Yamapi a little uncomfortable and distant but he didn't mind. It was easier to admire Yamapi when he was a little bit set apart like that.
Tegoshi didn't just like that Yamapi was good-looking and dedicated. He liked his complete lack of body shame and how he almost dared people to look at him sometimes. He liked how weird Yamapi would act sometimes and some of the strange things he could say. He liked how silly Yamapi could be when he needed to let off steam.
For all that, he really did like being able to admire Yamapi's work. He liked having Yamapi as his inspirational leader. He liked that Pi was softer than Nishikido-kun and more mature than Kei-chan.
He liked that Yamapi could be so awesome and yet could still sometimes smile at Tegoshi in the most amazing way, a little bit gentle and a little bit proud. It was, more than anything, just nice to know he was there.